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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

From the proud owner of a Robot Horse.

I’m going to type as I ask Ian a few questions, I want you to experience one minute with Ian. Winking smile

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What is your robot horse’s name?

“Well, well, his name is Hawk, now type in his name.”

Is there anything else you want to tell me about Hawk?

“Well, he has that black letter on him.”

A black letter?

“mmmmhmmm, he has that on him…. but that one goes on my robot talking pillow….. ha ha ha ha…  that’s funny!”

Why does your robot horse have a black letter on him?

“Oh, cause he is a black letter robot.  He has lots of them, to spell his name.  But they float in my swimming pool, he is at my tent.  I don’t know which mountain it is on, it is on a really far away one, a bumpy one, it is really bumpy.”

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What color is your robot horse?

“Well he is black with his black friends….  Well he has, well he has…  Well I have dragons too.  Will you type in my robot pillow’s name that talks, I have one…  ha ha ha ha.”

Do you want to tell me anything else?

“No, well um, that is all the questions that I have.”

I’m going to start a section called ask Ian, do you have a question you don’t know the answer to, or a dilemma you don’t know how to fix…  Well I know someone who has all the answers, or at least give you a good laugh.

Come on ask away, I dare you. Winking smile

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

It isn’t your business…

I worry so much… along with all the other mothers in this world.  lol.  When Easton was born I cried for weeks that someone was going to steal him, all I could think was that he would never remember me.  I am sure Court thought I was going crazy, and I’m sure I probably was in a way….  After a few weeks that passed, and then I worried that he wasn’t growing enough, then that he was growing too much, then something else, and so on and so on…. 

Then came Ian, I cried for a week that someone was going to steal him, cried for a week that something was wrong with Easton because he seemed so different.  (Looking back all I can think is, lady calm down, breath, of course he was different, he just had the carpet pulled out from under him.)  The funny thing is Easton probably handled it better than me, ha ha. 

Then I worried whether I should put Easton in preschool, whether he would get along with the other kids, how would Ian react to him being gone….  This goes on and on, and the worries just change.  The thing is looking back I can laugh at myself, laugh at the worries, and see how everything has fallen into place better than I could have ever even imagined.  I wish we could take the things we worry about now and know just how to handle it, have the knowledge of the future to soothe the worry. 

This sounds a lot more in depth than I had planned, now looking back just from this moment to the start of this post, I can laugh….  Kristi my dear you are getting way to deep.  So be it.  This is how my mind works. 

We as parents, as friends, as sisters, as neighbors, as mothers, as family, as human beings, in each role we have worries.  The one that was on my mind this evening was one that is on my mind most days…  What people think of me, do they like me?  Do people get and accept me.  I worry and recount all that I have said during the day, the way I said it, the context I said it in….  Did it come across as I had really meant or did they take it wrong.  You see, I am a sarcastic, shy, talkative, weak, strong, right brained, left brained, creative, un-organized, clean, spiritual, line crosser, weird, average, normal girl.  You get, got… all that?

Do you like me?  Do you get me?  Do you accept  me for who and what I am?  Do you shun me for my weaknesses (many weaknesses.)  Do you judge me for my strengths. 

As I was recounting my day today, I was overwhelmed with these thoughts… 

Then something calmed me that I have heard from somewhere before but can’t recall exactly how they said it, or where I heard it.

“It isn’t your business if someone likes you or not.” 

Did you hear it, did you feel it, did it come across in the right context, ha ha. 

“It isn’t your business if someone likes you or not.”

All I need/can do, is to worry about trying my hardest, doing my best.  My best isn’t someone else's best.  So it is impossible for someone to measure me against any other yardstick than my own, and if they do guess what….  yes you know.

“It isn’t your business if someone likes you or not.”

Lately I haven’t been doing my best, giving my hundred and ten percent.  I’m going to though, you will see, no regrets.  I’m sayin it….  right now.  So from this moment on, here is to living, loving, giving, trying, succeeding, failing miserably, suffering, growing, learning, breathing, but most of all giving my all.

AND I’m going to stop worrying, or at least try to stop worrying about whether someone loves and accepts me for who and what I am cause guess what.

“It isn’t my business.” 

I tried Googling that quote, I wanted to know whether I made it up or if someone had actually said it,  it wouldn’t come up. 

Here is one that did come up though, and I thought it fit really well :

"It is not your business to succeed, but to do right. When you have done so the rest lies with god."
C.S. Lewis

Sorry for the book with no pictures, no pictures is boring….  Do you still like me?  ha ha Winking smile

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Easton

Man how do you start a post about your child.  I was laying in bed yesterday morning thinking about my little Easton Roo, I had a million thoughts, I want to list a few.

easton

Easton is the most loving big brother any person could ask for, Ian is one lucky little boy to be able to call him brudder.  He is always thinking of Ian’s feelings…  If I get him a treat he will ask, “can we get one for Ian?”  He gets prizes from his reading teacher after reading fifteen books, most of the time Ian wants what he brings home so badly that Easton will share until he has earned enough to get another prize, and instead of getting one for himself something, he will get a second of whatever it was he got previously and give the new one to Ian.  He loves Ian, kisses Ian, calls him cute, protects him.  He is the BEST big brudder!!

Easton is a VERY talented musician.  I can’t believe how quickly he has picked up the guitar, he’s like a fish to water with it.  He memorizes songs after a few times playing them.  He has memorized the notes without having to use any of the tricks like FACE or Every Good Boy Does Fine… etc.  He wouldn’t know what I was talking about if I mentioned either one of those. ha ha. 

Easton is humble, to a fault.  That little rascal won’t believe a word I say when I tell him how amazing he is.  In fact I wish I could convince him on at least one thing of how much he rocks.

Easton is a rockin’ ball player.  From the time he was a year he could throw a ball like you couldn’t believe.  He nailed a home teacher in the head with a foam ball when he was 18 months and the man shoved the ball down the couch instead of giving it back, ha.  He can throw so hard that when he was playing T Ball last year he threw from first and it went over the fence behind the catcher and hit a car.  Ouch. 

Easton makes me want to be a better mom.  He can look right through you.  He reads people really well, too well, for being six. 

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He is beautiful, inside and out!